So apparently it is Christmas.
I don’t really understand the whole concept of Christmas but apparently it started as some sort of religious thing but now it’s just an excuse to take lots of time off work, spend a lot of money on naff presents, eat and drink too much and have petty squabbles with family members because they bought even naffer presents.
But apparently the human enjoy it. Yup, they are all bonkers.
Anyway the humans decided yesterday they must decorate the house – on Christmas Eve morning no less – seemed a bit late to me but what do I know?
They put a ghastly fake tree up in the corner of the lounge, it has white tinsel branches! Really they have no taste at all – should be a real one that I could have fun with. I tried climbing it but the branches started to bend in an alarming fashion so I gave up on that pronto. I have kept them amused by playing ‘whack the tasteless ornament’ on a regular basis. They are so inconsistent, normally they would be screaming and shouting at me to stop but all I get is ‘oh, look at Oscar, isn’t he sweet?’. Sweet, me? Do me a favour!
Anyway I approve of Christmas Day – I got a special breakfast – one of those mega expensive foil wrapped extravaganzas – trout and prawn no less. Excellent! So why don’t I get this the rest of the time huh?
Ooops. Have just broken an ornament – gave it a terrific left hook (I’m kinda impressed with my boxing skills) and it smashed into the radiator. Have pushed it to the back of the tree so hopefully they will not notice … oh dear, they spotted it. Bah. I am to be in bad books now. It may take a while to wriggle out of this one I think.
Still getting the evil eye. I’ve tried the full repertoire – the guilty slinking around, the sitting in the corner looking sorry for myself one, the looking cute one, the creeping onto a lap for a cuddle one. None of them are working.
I’ve been banished to the kitchen in disgrace. I just managed to get my paws on a nice portion of turkey and a sausage and some stuffing, that will teach them to put stuff in the fridge out of harm’s way. Perhaps being in disgrace is not so bad after all.
Off to forage for some pudding!