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New Year economy measures

So it’s been a quiet week, the humans are back at work after their long, boozy break. Not sure it is going well though. All I get every evening is lots of moaning about ‘the state of the trains’. Seem to me they would be better off staying here and looking after me properly rather than gadding around all day enjoying themselves. If the trains are in a state why keep going off and playing around on them?

Anyway – they tried to palm me off with some cheap cat food tonight. What’s the world coming to? I’m determined not to touch the stuff however hungry I get…

… had a quick nibble when they were not looking. Seriously horrible stuff – I don’t know what came over them, they should know better. There have been mutterings about the size of Christmas VISA bill but why should that should have an effect on my supply of Whiskers and Felix? Did I use their plastic card? No I did not. They should control their spending and focus on the essentials. LIKE CAT FOOD.

This is turning into a serious battle of wills. They have, by all accounts, bought four tins of this horrible cat food as some misguided economy measure. As I have no intention of eating it they have made a very serious mistake because I am standing firm. This is the thin end of the wedge! I am not going to eat it because it will set a very bad precedent. I’m getting hungry though – I’ve taken to flopping around under their feet looking pathetic. Guilt trips often work well in my experience but it’s not working so far. The evil VISA bill must be really terrifying.

Later in the week
Oh dear … can a cat be in the doghouse? If so, I am! Desperate times need desperate measures. However being discovered sat on the worktop helping yourself to a nice meal of roast chicken does not seem to have gone down very well with the humans. Their visitors looked a bit stunned too … no-one fancied the chicken after my attack (I only had a go at one side of it!) so they ended up having stuffing and bread sauce for Sunday lunch. They should be grateful it was’nt the Cheapocat chunks they are trying to palm off on me!

The next day
More chicken for lunch today – well, they have to use it up somehow. Should be enough to last me for the next few days.

And the day after
I’m beginning to get a bit fed up with the chicken now. Perhaps you can have too much of a good thing. Still not eating that cheap stuff though!

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It’s Christmas – YAY

So apparently it is Christmas.

I don’t really understand the whole concept of Christmas but apparently it started as some sort of religious thing but now it’s just an excuse to take lots of time off work, spend a lot of money on naff presents, eat and drink too much and have petty squabbles with family members because they bought even naffer presents.

But apparently the human enjoy it. Yup, they are all bonkers.

Anyway the humans decided yesterday they must decorate the house – on Christmas Eve morning no less – seemed a bit late to me but what do I know?

They put a ghastly fake tree up in the corner of the lounge, it has white tinsel branches! Really they have no taste at all – should be a real one that I could have fun with. I tried climbing it but the branches started to bend in an alarming fashion so I gave up on that pronto. I have kept them amused by playing ‘whack the tasteless ornament’ on a regular basis. They are so inconsistent, normally they would be screaming and shouting at me to stop but all I get is ‘oh, look at Oscar, isn’t he sweet?’. Sweet, me? Do me a favour!

Anyway I approve of Christmas Day – I got a special breakfast – one of those mega expensive foil wrapped extravaganzas – trout and prawn no less. Excellent! So why don’t I get this the rest of the time huh?

Ooops. Have just broken an ornament – gave it a terrific left hook (I’m kinda impressed with my boxing skills) and it smashed into the radiator. Have pushed it to the back of the tree so hopefully they will not notice … oh dear,  they spotted it. Bah. I am to be in bad books now.  It may take a while to wriggle out of this one I think.

Still getting the evil eye. I’ve tried the full repertoire – the guilty slinking around, the sitting in the corner looking sorry for myself one, the looking cute one, the creeping onto a lap for a cuddle one. None of them are working.

I’ve been banished to the kitchen in disgrace. I just managed to get my paws on a nice portion of turkey and a sausage and some stuffing, that will teach them to put stuff in the fridge out of harm’s way. Perhaps being in disgrace is not so bad after all.

Off to forage for some pudding!

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I’m Oscar and this is my blog

Let me introduce myself, I’m Oscar!

I’m a ginger cat. A very smart ginger cat with particularly large feet – apparently – they look fine to me, generously sized, but good for fence climbing and other orienteering trips. According to the humans they are oversized but really who are they to talk considering the size of their own feet?

On the subject of the tame humans, I have two of them. It’s taken quite a while but I have them reasonably well trained. They tend to be less smart than me most of the time although I let them think different as it makes them feel good. We will ignore the times they get the better of me, best not to mention that. They have to be allowed a little victory sometimes just so they think they can pretend to be in charge –  obviously we all know who is really in charge around here!

My humans and I live in the countryside with lots of fields around for me to explore. It’s a good place to be. I approve.

Anyway, I’ve decided I need a hobby so I’ve decided to keep a blog. Yes, I know, hard to type with my big fluffy paws but I’m going to give it a go. You’ve heard of Chairman Meow’s Little Red Book? Well it’s going to be absolutely nothing like that. Just some rambling thoughts when the mood takes me, my thoughts on world affairs, exposes of the idiocies of the humans, and very embellished stories of when I’ve done something particularly clever … actually the idea of being Chairman Oscar is growing on me.

So check back soon to see what I’ve had to say – there is likely to be quite a lot to report!