Very strange goings on today. The humans have been following me around with a camera, it’s like being under surveillance. They seem to have got it in their heads that I would like my photograph on the web and are entering me for a ‘funny cat photo’ competition. I ask you, not very dignified is it?
I have been suitably uncooperative, posing in unbecoming positions, launching into frenzied licking sessions and hiding in the garden shed. But they eventually caught me out when I was trying to hide in a box that may perhaps have been ever so slightly too small for me to fit in. I hope I don’t come out blurred in the photo, if I have to suffer the indignity of all this I do want to look my best!
They’ve printed some of their efforts out now, they are not great. Some have the end of my tail missing, one appears to be an empty box! To be fair one of them nearly does justice to my good looks even if I am hanging out of the box. I’ve encouraged them towards selecting that one by trampling around on all the others.
Some days later
WOW. I’m on the web! I’ve won the competition! I never had any doubt really – it was unlikely that anyone could have looked as good as me. I have been put in front of the computer for a look at myself. Of course I played it really cool – after all I’m a star now. No doubt agents will be beating their way to my door any day now – eat your heart out Grumpy Cat!
I’ve had a sneaky look at the comments about me on the web site. I’m described as ‘an adorable rascal with a penchant for cardboard boxes and tuna’. So what’s a penchant, huh? Is this good or bad? Perhaps better not to know, you never know what nonsense people will post on the internet.
The humans have been basking in the reflected glory of my new found stardom. People they have avoided talking to for months have suddenly been telephoned and casually told that Oscar is now ‘on the net’. That’s as maybe but I’m not sure why they seem to be taking the credit for me being such a smart cat.
And being a star has not improved the posh food rations so I’m still not convinced that all this fame is worthwhile.